this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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