Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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