1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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