I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
