I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have fence marks all over my body
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
