I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
