i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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