i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
