Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
