I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
