They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
