Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
