Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just had sex on a roof
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
