oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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