my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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