I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
