I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
