ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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