similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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