well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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