This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
