You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
