I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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