fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
