He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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