Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
my liver is dry heaving
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
