so explain again why im purple
no
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
