One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
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Fuck
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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