I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
dude. I can hear the air.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
