wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
