Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
