fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
