do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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