Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
