If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
