M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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