she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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