i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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