why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
