just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
