Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
