Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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