Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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