i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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