Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
