trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
