Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
