wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
