i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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