Pappa wants mamma naked
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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