glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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